How bad could it have been? Perhaps it was a case where you have been divorced after a long and painful struggle. Your ex just took off and abandoned you. Your ex was a pathological liar and a drug addict. You were hardly married for a year, but it was a nightmare. You had dated for about two years and more. You thought that you knew your ex but there was a dark secret that was well hidden.
You were welcomed by your ex's family and friends. You did not know that they were looking at you as someone who was going to save your ex. Your ex had a past of lying, stealing, suicide attempts, psychotic behavior and did time in a mental institution. You only knew of theses things after the divorce. This is really bad but you have to get over your break up. You have a life to live. You owe it to yourself.
Your divorce has come through. Can you learn to trust someone else? When you think about dating someone, you start to imagine all sorts of things. You think of hiring investigators to follow your date, checking their phone in the dark of the night. and even installing spyware. Should you give up on dating? How can you get over this feeling of suspicion and get over your break up?
You can take comfort in the fact that you are not the first person to be deceived by someone who professed to love you. There have been cases of well educated professionals and mature individuals who have been fooled. There have been instances where the deception has gone on for years.
So what is the learning point? Yes, your ex was no angel or not even close to being a decent person. However,you must accept that you were partly responsible for your troubles. Did you ask enough questions? Were you listening? Did you notice things that did not match or make sense? The worst? Did you think that you were the chosen one to rescue a lost soul?
That is water under the bridge. What must you do now to get over your break up and move away from what haunts you? For a start:
- Question yourself. Where did you meet your ex? What was your situation? Were you too eager or even desperate for love and attention? Were you prepared to find out everything you needed to know about your partner? Did you know what you wanted?
- What did you miss? How can you spot it the next time around? If there were some signs or evidence why did you ignore them? Where your feelings too strong at a very early stage in the relationship?
- Did you feel that you could carry off a rescue mission no matter how bad the situation? Where did you get the idea that you could or have to do this?
You should certainly lay off dating for a while to think,recover and center yourself. Use the time to learn how you can better manage relationships and make the right choices. There is so much information and you can get loads of practical solutions on how to move on after a bad relationship. Find and use them to get over your break up.
About the Author
The author has a MSc and several professional qualifications.
Find out more on how you can move on after your divorce or break up. Love,relationships,breaking up,making up and dating are as old as mankind itself. It has all been done before. You can benefit from the lessons learned and know everything you need to get it right. Get all the help you need at http://www.squidoo.com/datingwin
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